Tag Archives: fitness

If you can’t beat it, use it?

I’m going to admit to something horrendously obnoxious. Post-workout selfie & picture of my heart rate monitor. I’ll admit it, I like attention. Terrible. Anyway, I’ve got the sweet tooth from Hades. I usually get away with it because I work out way too much and will stay in the gym for hours (I like it there, it helps me clear my head and it’s a long period of time in which I’m not socially awkward). However, I’ve been trying to stay pretty strict on diet so that I can actually see some major results, and so far, I’m LOVING it.

I also slip up. And when I slip up, or “cheat,” I really can’t do moderation at all. I resisted temptation all day yesterday until finally I just gave in to my sugar cravings. I still struggle with labeling foods “good” and “bad,” even though I know I shouldn’t and that a mindset like that is ANYTHING but productive. I still do it. I have such a love-hate relationship with “cheat” meals and my thoughts are always so scattered. I’m a healthy eater in general and that counts for something, right? I really hate this being human stuff sometimes. This willpower stuff. This wanting results stuff. Seriously.

When I woke up this morning, I wish I could tell you that I didn’t feel a bit disappointed in myself. I wish I could preach about moderation and giving in and allowing yourself to just have treats and such, but I’m still not quite there yet. I felt a little of that, sure, but mostly disappointed. I’m definitely a work in progress. Lately, though, I’ve been realizing that if I can’t beat my cravings and my obsessive tendencies, I might as well put them to work FOR me. So I ran. Hard. Played with speed, played with hills, and ran until I thought I used up a good chunk of that extra glycogen. Do I wish I had a little more self-control around sweets? Yes. Absolutely. Am I stoked that I ran harder and for a longer period of time than I have in years? ABSOLUTELY.

So if you can’t beat it, use it:


At least I didn’t hashtag it.


Let’s be real. There are more important things in the world than whether or not I’m retaining water from a candy splurge. The world did not end. Better yet, I’m blessed to live in a very hilly neighborhood that I can run through all over again tomorrow. Life is good.



…the title has absolutely almost nothing to do with what I plan to write about. Almost. I’ve always known that solid nutrition (read: strict because I don’t do moderation very well) was important, but I figured I could just work out forever. The more I adjust my diet, and yes, there is a bit of food restriction, and yes, I end up thinking about food a bit more obsessively, but I also notice that my body is changing in ways that I really like! It really has made a difference. Not that I don’t like working out for hours, because it’s pretty meditative for me. But I feel like I’m learning more and more every day and I have to remember to step back and take things one day at a time and be proud of each individual accomplishment.

Enough about that. So much has changed in the past six months and it’s a complete and utter whirlwind. Standard I suppose. I’ve gone from personal trainer at 24 Hour Fitness to part-time student and part-time nanny. I hope to find a physical therapy aide position as well, sometime soon, but school is my non-fitness, non-nutrition priority. When I graduated UCSD, all I wanted was some time off to work and NOT have homework, and MAYBE sleep a little. I slept a little, for a while, and I didn’t have homework, per se, but the new year rolled around and I realized that as much as I loved my training job, I needed to be back in school to get my medical school prerequisites out of the way. There was no way for me to do both and give 100%, and even though I know I made the right decision, it sucked. I drove around with overpriced coffee, wasting time and gas, just trying to get my head straight. Just in case I wasn’t dramatic enough, let’s add stress. I’m sure I blew it way out of proportion.

Telling every client was fun. Truly. I never expected to learn as much as I did. You start out controlling workouts and trying your hardest to make a difference in someone’s life and then you end up inspired by their hard work, frustrated when you put the work in and they don’t (I was lucky, I had some very dedicated clients), and realizing that you think you know a lot and really, you know nothing. Humbling. Terrifying. Intimidating. No wonder I spent so much time working out. And then you become friends. And suddenly you can share details of life, dips in motivation, confession that you ate half a jar of Nutella or gave in to temptation and bought half the Sprouts candy section and now feel like a slug, and my personal favorite, the little things like walking PAST the candy section. I could ramble on forever without fully expressing how much this all means to me. I’m not done as a trainer, I will go back to it, but I had to go back to school. If not now, then when? I’m taking one class, but I’m starting. That’s something.

So that’s where I stand. My personal thoughts splayed all over the internet. Cheers!

Let it just be known that I consider only HALF the jar of Nutella to be some serious willpower. I would have eaten the whole jar.